Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
