If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
