i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
