Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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