Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
