belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
