I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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