you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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