you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Rumble strips road head = magical
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
All I want is dick and wine.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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