So drunk its hurt
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
