he wants to bone in the snuggie
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
