I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
