I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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