1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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