Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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