I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
