He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
