You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
