Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
