And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
