I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
