I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
