I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
