so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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