She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
