Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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