You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
