your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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