there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
