I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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