Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
