what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
