Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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