Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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