Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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