i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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