Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
