Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
