yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize