please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
