Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
