Only a mothe r could love this liver
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
