First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
