Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He has the fingertips of a God
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