does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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