Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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