i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
