Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
