then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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