some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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