My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
