If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
