pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
