mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
