I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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