I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
