Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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