What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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