I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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