you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
