"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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