sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
