he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
