Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
