I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
