ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
