you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
